Why are you not married?

Here I am.  Single, 25, average everything and the single most asked question I get is ” Why are you not married?”

This has been following me around since I lived in Ireland.  My grandmother started up with the “when are you getting married Shauna?” malarkey.  Of course to her, 18 was a fine age to go off and marry some farmer and spend my life milking cows and standing in gaps.  She even went so far as to pull out the Ireland’s Own magazine, go to the back and find all the potential candidates.  She became so good that she would even use the abbreviations NS, ND, GSOH, WLTM and so on.  Even made joke of it; “Shauna, here’s a grand lad, 60, NS, ND, owns a farm and a horse and cart……..I’ll get him to send a picture…………………of the cart!” She never got bored with it and if she were still alive she would probably be sending me the top 10 candidates of the week in the post. 

Then Dad joined in.  He took it from a whole other angle though.  Thought he’d give me advice.  “Make sure he has some good road frontage and a good herd of cows, Shauna.” Ya Dad, that’ll be right up there with “Do you have a horse and cart?”  By the time I was 20 and still single, he was literally about to start-up a dowry.  ” Shauna, I’d give half of my herd to the man that’ll take you off my hands” Excellent, I feel that perhaps some emigration is on the agenda here………

So forward on 2 years and I came to Korea.  I thought “surely no one here will care”.  I was wrong. This country is more obsessed with marriage than Ireland is.  And I don’t know why.  Statistics show that 2/3s of wives in Korea are physically abused.  Why oh why if that is the case would anyone be encouraging a young lady to join these ranks?????  Then there’s the business agreement end of marriages here.  I have a Korean friend who has been going out with her boyfriend since high school.  She told me that he’s a bit boring for her.  So I said, well break up with him, plenty more fish in the sea.  To which she replied “I can’t, it’s all been arranged, we’re getting married in 2 years’. Just like that.  Like you arrange to buy a car or something.  No engagement, no real love, nothing.  Is it any wonder I’m no married yet? But somehow, the people around me seem to be dead set on marriage coming my way soon. 

My co teacher has made herself my Korean mother and has her heart set on me marrying the only male teacher at my school.  He’s the gym teacher, who only comes twice a week and we know nothing about him other than the fact that his name seems to be “gym teacher”. 

Then there’s the lady who works at the restaurant 0n the 2nd floor of my school building.  Every time we meet its the same question “you are no married?” Eh no, since the last time 2 days ago I haven’t gotten married.  Why???????? And then she drops it in casually, ” you know I have two sons……..” Really?????? ” yes, one is in university and the other is in the army”  Ah now I see the interest.  She also knows everything from my mothers name to my shoe size.  Any day I expect to find one of her sons waiting at the bus stop with a ring.   

And now just to top it all off…I get the question as an alternative chat up line.  Actually that’s a lie, I have two alternative chat up lines.  The first is “Are you Russian?” Ouch……..the second is ” You are not married? The second I say no, it’s always “why are you not married?” And then I think; why would you be asking me that???? Shouldn’t you be secretly delighted that I’m not married and doing your best to change that situation??????

In a previous post I complained about people not sitting next to me on the bus.  But since I also get this questions from randomers on the buses and subway I’ve decided that perhaps it is best that nobody sits beside me so I have a little peace. 

This whole thing of “Why are you not married?” is driving me crazy.  Who cares why I’m not married?  I’m also fairly certain that I’m not the only foreign girl subjected to this interrogation. 

So in conclusion, my friends, I’ve decided that if one more  person asks me why I am not married, I’m going to  stand outside my apartment and marry the first single man who comes my way.  Job done.


4 thoughts on “Why are you not married?

    • I almost just choked on the bagel I was eating when I read this!!!!!!!! Too funny………..I feel better that I only have to put up with the “why are you not married”question as opposed to the “when are you giving us granchildren” question….hang in there……

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