The art of Acquiring.

Being Irish means that you are born to get away with a lot of things.  Thinking that potatoes are the only food worth eating is ok because you’re Irish.  Describing things as “yokes” is perfectly acceptable because your Irish.  Drinking a lot is expected.  Being the outdoorsy type who knows the difference between a cow and a heifer is necessary to being Irish.  But what really makes Irish people stand out is that they are so cute.  And I’m not talking about looks.  Oh no I’m talking about the fox-like cuteness that helps them “acquire” items. 

Since moving to Korea, I seem to have excelled at this sport.  Easily half the items i my apartment have been acquired from one person or another. It’s not easy.  Our group has about 30 people at any one time so to be the first to acquire is a definite talent.  Here’s how to make it happen;

1. Comment on the preferred item in advance.  When visiting the persons apartment, casually drop in a “wow, a __________, I’d LOVE this is my apartment”. You now laid the seed in their minds. 

2. When the opportunity arises, mention how you are thinking of buying the preferred item.  This way you know that they know that you really want it.

3. When you know they are leaving, tell them straight up that the preferred item is yours and if they don’t give it to you, they will no longer have a soul. 

4. Be nice to them all year.  That way they will think of you as a good friend and worthy of he desired item. 

In the case that you happen to se an item on the street the only method of acquiring should be to pick it up and run home with it as fast as you can.  This was the situation with my full length mirror. 

Ok so let me go through what I have acquired over the last 2 years,

1. Convention oven and stand

2. Full length piano (my favourite and proudest item)

3. Wall world map

4. English books (acquired in rather dodgy circumstances from my old school)

5. Full length mirror.

6. Clothes (about a 1/4 of my current wardrobe)

7. perfumes, medicines and beauty products.

8. All kind of kitchen items, knives, forks, saucepans etc.

9. stools, a suitcase/weekend bag and a big backpack.

The best story is how I acquired the piano.  So a good friend of ours, David, bought this piano.  He, unfortunately, decided to leave Korea in a hurry and on the qt.  So this piano became available for acquiring.  Now, I knew I had competition for it so Alexa an I decided that as we were the closest to his apartment, we should have first dibs on his stuff.  And what an excellent job we did.  Just as ell he wasnt coming back as he would have had nothing to come back to! So, after we brought the small items to our apartments, we had to get the piano out.  It didn’t look too heavy at the time so we decided we could totally do it ourselves.  That was or first mistake, the piano was deceivingly heavy.  But we got it down the 2 flights of stairs after like a long time.  Next thing we know, there’s a police car outside.  They ask us what we were doing.  In my excellently broken Korea,I told them we were simply moving apartment.   They were pretty cool and went to tell the complainant that we were simply moving apartment.  As it turns out, the person who complained only complained because we were speaking too much English (???????).  She was an English teacher in the local school and came out to apologise.  We were all like “oh its no trouble, don’t worry” but she felt so bad that she helped us carry the piano to my apartment.  Excellent.  What really makes me laugh is that the police never asked us whose piano it was or whose apartment we were raiding.  Clearly, a very trusting lot. 

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4 thoughts on “The art of Acquiring.

  1. What a great blog post sis, falling off the chair laughing about the piano and police, now you know who to trust, haha!!!

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